Friday, 21 January 2011

Magpies. Mischievous little bastards!

My profile picture is of a European Magpie, or Pica Pica as they're technically known. Although they have nothing to do with Pokemon. I chose the bird because out of all the common garden birds in Britain, magpies are the most badass. Just look at them with their sharp gangster suits and their loud, machine-gun calls. The way they swoop down like dramabombs to ruin everyone's day. Here are some magpies picking on a fox:

These little bastards seem to thrive on genuinely annoying other creatures around them. They are nature's trolls. And what's more than that, the little gits are downright evil. They'll mug you as soon as look at you. They build massive great nests in the biggest trees they can find and fill them with stolen trinkets. They hoard them greedily. Coins, rings, bottle caps. Bright, shiny plastic objects.

These awesome birds don't just stop there, however. They also have a taste for the chicks and eggs of other birds. That chackchack call of theirs sounds like doom to baby song thrushes. This, in my view, cements their status as the ultimate villains of the garden bird world. Wily, cunning, devious, and utterly, dreadfully wicked.

Here's another video. In this one, some bolshy little magpie flies into a garden and basically yells at a cat till it gets annoyed and leaves. What the hell does that? The cat could easily eat the magpie alive but does the little bastard care? Hell no he doesn't. It's wonder they can fly at all the way they carry those King Kong-sized solid lead balls around with them all day.

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